The Street Is Dry | UK-Based Nigerian Woman Advises Single Ladies to Bring Boyfriends When Relocating Abroad

 

In a recent viral social media post, a UK-based Nigerian woman, Obiageli Juliana Okoro, has sparked widespread discussion by advising single Nigerian ladies planning to relocate abroad to maintain strong ties with their boyfriends in Nigeria and consider bringing them along. Her candid remarks, shared on Facebook on March 13, 2025, have ignited debates about relationships, dating prospects abroad, and the challenges of finding love as a Nigerian immigrant. This article explores her advice, the context behind it, and the varied reactions it has elicited, offering a comprehensive look at this trending topic.

Understanding the Advice: A Call to Action

Obiageli Juliana Okoro’s message was straightforward yet provocative. She wrote, “Dear single lady in Nigeria planning to travel abroad!! Please keep good communication and contact with your romantic boyfriend ooo.... if you balance, you can bring him to join you in the UK. This is what many will not tell you!!. The street dry oo and oyibo no dey sweet...as dem tell me—na so I talk...say....oyibo,, no dey sweet.....TANKIOO.” Translated from her mix of Pidgin English and standard English, she urges single women to stay connected with their Nigerian boyfriends and, once settled abroad, invite them to join. Her reasoning? The dating scene abroad—“the street”—is “dry,” and relationships with Caucasian men (“oyibo”) are not as fulfilling as some might expect.

This advice stems from her personal observations and experiences in the UK, where she suggests that the pool of eligible partners is limited, and cultural differences may make relationships with non-Nigerians less satisfying for some Nigerian women. Her post has resonated with many who feel that the realities of dating abroad are often glossed over in the excitement of relocating, commonly referred to as “japa” in Nigerian slang.

The Context: Dating Challenges for Nigerian Women Abroad

Relocating abroad, particularly to countries like the UK, is a dream for many Nigerians seeking better opportunities in education, employment, and quality of life. However, the transition comes with challenges, including navigating the dating landscape. For Nigerian women, these challenges can include cultural differences, racial biases, and a perceived scarcity of compatible partners who share similar values and backgrounds.

Obiageli’s assertion that “the street is dry” reflects a sentiment echoed by some Nigerian immigrants who find the dating pool abroad less vibrant or fulfilling than anticipated. Factors such as busy work schedules, smaller Nigerian communities in some areas, and differing relationship expectations can contribute to this perception. Additionally, her comment about “oyibo no dey sweet” hints at potential dissatisfaction with intercultural relationships, possibly due to differences in communication styles, family expectations, or emotional compatibility.

This perspective is not unique to Obiageli. Similar sentiments have been shared by other Nigerian women abroad, with some expressing frustration over the difficulty of finding partners who understand their cultural heritage and relationship goals. For single women planning to relocate, this advice serves as a cautionary note to temper expectations and consider maintaining existing relationships as a safeguard against potential loneliness or romantic disappointment.

Public Reactions: A Mixed Bag of Opinions

Obiageli’s post quickly went viral, garnering a range of reactions from support to skepticism and outright disagreement. Social media platforms, particularly Facebook, became a battleground for opinions on her advice, reflecting broader conversations about relationships, gender roles, and the immigrant experience.

Supportive Voices: Some individuals praised Obiageli for her honesty and for shedding light on an often-overlooked aspect of relocating abroad. One commenter noted, “This is cool. Thank God but no be only UK be the abroad nah..Good surely I will bring my boyfriend over but make him no change him attitude if him don land for the aboard way o..I just say make i talk Sha.” This response highlights agreement with her advice while acknowledging the need for partners to remain consistent in their behavior after relocating.

Critics and Skeptics: Others were less convinced, with some outright rejecting her advice. A commenter warned, “Women please oooo. Don’t u ever take ur Nigeria boyfriend abroad. I will advise u to stay with the unsweetened oyibo.” This perspective suggests that bringing a Nigerian boyfriend abroad could lead to complications, such as shifts in power dynamics or unmet expectations, and that exploring relationships with locals might be a better option. Another user cautioned against treating men brought abroad as subservient, stating, “Because u brought a man abroad does not mean u should be treating him like ur slave over there, men r kings they deserve respect no matter what, this is a mistake thst 90% of women do when they bring there man abroad forgetting that you will surely reap what u sow.”

Broader Reflections: The varied reactions underscore the complexity of relationships in the context of migration. For some, Obiageli’s advice is practical and rooted in real challenges, while for others, it oversimplifies the nuances of dating abroad and the potential for growth in new environments. The discussion also touches on gender roles, with some comments reflecting traditional expectations of men as providers and women as supporters, even in a foreign context.

The Bigger Picture: Relationships and Migration

Obiageli’s advice taps into broader themes of migration, identity, and the pursuit of happiness. For many Nigerians, relocating abroad is not just about economic advancement but also about building a fulfilling personal life. However, the realities of life abroad can differ significantly from expectations, particularly in the realm of relationships.

Cultural Compatibility: One key factor in Obiageli’s advice is the importance of cultural compatibility. For some Nigerian women, maintaining a relationship with a partner from home ensures a shared cultural foundation, which can be a source of comfort and stability in an unfamiliar environment. This is particularly relevant in countries like the UK, where cultural norms around dating, marriage, and family may differ from those in Nigeria.

Economic and Legal Considerations: Bringing a boyfriend to join a woman abroad involves practical considerations, including visa processes, financial stability, and legal requirements. In the UK, for instance, sponsoring a partner typically requires meeting income thresholds and proving a genuine relationship, which can be a significant hurdle for newly settled immigrants. Obiageli’s advice assumes that women will “balance” (settle and stabilize) before inviting their partners, but the feasibility of this plan varies depending on individual circumstances.

Emotional and Social Dynamics: Beyond logistics, the emotional and social dynamics of such arrangements can be complex. Relationships maintained long-distance may face strain, and partners who join later may struggle to adapt to new roles or environments. Additionally, the power dynamics in a relationship can shift when one partner is the primary sponsor or breadwinner, potentially leading to tension if not managed with mutual respect and understanding.

Expert Insights: What the Data Says

While Obiageli’s advice is anecdotal, it aligns with broader trends and studies on migration and relationships. Research on immigrant communities often highlights the challenges of forming romantic relationships in new cultural contexts. For instance, a study on African immigrants in the UK found that many face difficulties in dating due to cultural differences, racial stereotypes, and social isolation, particularly in areas with smaller immigrant populations. This can lead to a preference for partners from the same cultural background, either through maintaining relationships from home or seeking out diaspora communities abroad.

Moreover, the phenomenon of “transnational relationships”—where partners maintain relationships across borders—is well-documented among Nigerian immigrants. These relationships often involve significant emotional and financial investment, with partners working together to achieve migration goals. Obiageli’s advice reflects this trend, encouraging women to leverage existing relationships as a strategy for building a life abroad.

Practical Tips for Single Ladies Planning to Relocate

For Nigerian women considering Obiageli’s advice, here are some practical steps to navigate relationships and relocation:

1. Maintain Open Communication: If you have a boyfriend in Nigeria, prioritize clear and consistent communication about your plans, expectations, and the realities of life abroad. Discuss how relocation might impact your relationship and whether he is open to joining you later.
2. Research Visa and Sponsorship Requirements: Understand the legal and financial requirements for bringing a partner to your destination country. In the UK, for example, you’ll need to meet a minimum income threshold and provide evidence of a genuine relationship.
3. Build a Support Network: Regardless of your relationship status, establish a support network abroad. This can include Nigerian community groups, professional networks, or social clubs, which can help combat loneliness and provide a sense of belonging.
4. Be Open to New Experiences: While maintaining a relationship from home can be comforting, remain open to meeting new people and exploring different cultural perspectives. This can enrich your experience abroad and broaden your social circle.
5. Plan for Emotional Resilience: Relocating can be emotionally taxing, with or without a partner. Prepare for potential challenges by seeking mental health resources, such as counseling or support groups, to help you adjust to life abroad.

Conclusion: A Personal Choice with Broader Implications

Obiageli Juliana Okoro’s advice to “bring your boyfriend to join you” has sparked a lively debate about love, migration, and the immigrant experience. While her perspective resonates with some who feel disillusioned by the dating scene abroad, it is not a one-size-fits-all solution. The decision to maintain a relationship from Nigeria, bring a partner abroad, or explore new romantic opportunities is deeply personal and depends on individual circumstances, goals, and values.

For single Nigerian ladies planning to relocate, the key is to approach the journey with awareness, preparation, and flexibility. Whether you choose to heed Obiageli’s advice or forge your own path, understanding the challenges and opportunities of life abroad can help you build a fulfilling future—both romantically and personally. As the conversation continues to unfold online and offline, it highlights the resilience, adaptability, and determination of Nigerian women navigating life on a global stage.